Monthly Archives: January 2018

Loneliness

By Guest Blogger Charlie Weldon | Check out more of her posts on her blog

 

Feeling lonely is something we all experience but I think that people are sort of ashamed to admit it, because it makes you seem weak or alone.

I feel lonely.

Not all the time, obviously. If I stand back and think rationally, I know I am surrounded by people who love and support me. BUT at night when I’m left alone with my thoughts I can feel isolated and … lonely.

Keeping people in my life can be so challenging. I don’t always have time to go out and do things because I’m busy with family things, or I forget to text because I was busy. Life gets in the way, and unfortunately in my case life is pretty hectic, not just with my dad being sick with cancer. I also have a bazillion auditions and lessons so I’m extremely busy.

I’ve also noticed people tend to disappear when your life starts to fall apart.

When my dad got sick I started to talk about him all the time, I talk about his treatment, his bravery, his sense of humor, my favorite memories with him, his favorite freaking sandwich: classic bacon with red sauce. I want everyone to know about him because I bloody love him and want to share who he is as a person, so people get to know him as my funny, intelligent, brilliant father rather than a man with cancer they read about on Facebook.

My openness seems to annoy some people. People change the subject, tell me I need to think about different things or ghost me for a while. I’m not sure if this is conscious or not but it sucks. To already feel like you don’t fit in because you have this whole separate (freaking hard) battle to fight every day, and then to have people you care about not support you is the most isolating thing in the whole world.

I’ve struggled with this so much over the past few weeks. Losing friends and support makes me isolate myself and bottle things up because I don’t have those friends I can tell all these things to.  (Which is why I started writing them down).

I am so lucky to have such a supportive family, we go through everything together and I’m not saying it is easy to stay so close — it is bloody HARD — but they let me be sad, be happy, talk about the scary and sad things with no pressure or expectations… I am so thankful for them.

This feeling of loneliness is not one I share with many people, but I wanted to be brave and write a post about it because I think we all need to learn to be kinder to each other and kinder to ourselves. Support from friends is so important in tough situations. And everyone is fighting a battle whether you have no idea about it OR they write a blog about it. So be aware of how your actions and words could make that person feel.

If you’re reading this and you feel alone right now. You’re not, I promise.

There is a section of my blog where you can write to me (anonymously if you prefer), if anyone wants to ask questions or share stories then I would love to make this a place where we all get to moan and then uplift each other.